Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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69

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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