What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

Knock knock What

-When is a door not a door? -Never

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

guess what chicken butt

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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