That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

guess what chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

-When is a door not a door? -Never

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock What

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops