What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

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Sonic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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