We didnt star the fire ...........

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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how did the little girl die cancer

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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knock knock go away ok

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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Black Veil Brides.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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