a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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i eat poop

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? Google it!

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why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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There is a white man, a black guy, and an Asian in a car. It got into an accident who did it? Asian dude

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Jay Leno: The economy is so bad.. Audience: how bad is it?! Jay Leno: Very bad.

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Knock knock Who's there My dick

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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Why did brad pay the sexy looking librarian with a big smile on his face? Becouse brad returned his books to late and had to pay a fine for that. The librarian made a joke about the fact that it was a waste of money to return the books late.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains... Well don't worry, you've come to the right place. We'll get you the help you need.

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Woman's Rights.

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why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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