two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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you thought i was going to write a joke.. bitch

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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Is this a chair?

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops