Cows go moo.

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Women's rights

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Pickles

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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