Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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