What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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what do kallum and joel have in common they both work at club getaway

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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