What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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Your mom

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

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What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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Q. Why was the cat brown? A. because it was a maori

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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penis hehehehe

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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