What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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The Economy

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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