what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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knock knock go away ok

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Black Veil Brides.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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