What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Women's rights.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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That didn't hurt.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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