There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

So a disabled man walks into a bar...

What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

A seal walks into a club.

A woman leaves the kitchen.

Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

Frown is a four letter word.

The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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