How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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A woman went out and had a great time with her friends. Then she walked home alone and got viciously raped by 4 large black men.

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

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Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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Women

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

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penis

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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