Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops