Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Canada

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops