hey.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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