Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

A British man walks into a dental office.

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

The Charlotte bobcats.

What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

What do you call 4 black people at a kfc? A family sitting down for there evening meal

Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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