Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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