What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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