Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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why was the black man in jail? He stole food from a store due to the fact that his family was very poor and could not afford to fend for themselves.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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anne hatthaway

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

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a man walked out of church and said F***!

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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Women's rights.

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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