Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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whats really hot the sun

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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What do you call two gay men playfully wrestling? Immature.

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Chayton

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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Why did Kanye West hit Rihanna? He didn't. It was Chris Brown you dumb ****

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops