A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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Woman's rights

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

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What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

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Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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