roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

So a disabled man walks into a bar...

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

Gestapo.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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