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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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Why do black men run faster then white men? Because they practice more and some simply want to improve themselves in the sport more then other men. Of course, some white men are faster then some black men, so the whole question in general is not true. You should not believe everything you read on here.

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F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Don't think of granny porn

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*you're

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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women

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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