Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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Why do black men run faster then white men? Because they practice more and some simply want to improve themselves in the sport more then other men. Of course, some white men are faster then some black men, so the whole question in general is not true. You should not believe everything you read on here.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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