An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

im a selling a car

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats really hot the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chayton

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops