What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

Why Do Indians Not Like Snow? Because it is white and on their land

A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

Homework.

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

Barack Obama

Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

The 19th Amendment

how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

What did the Black guy say to the White Rapper? I really like your music.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

Flab

An iguana walks out of a bar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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