What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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Enchilada

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Barack Obama

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Your mom is so black that her skin tone is darker than most people

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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