What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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Where's my tractor?

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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