Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

Why did the bunny eat his food

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

Agricultural production fell significantly.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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