What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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Why did the little boy fall down? Because he was shot.

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Ben Colbert is gay

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Hey man have you ever seen Stevie Wonders house? ... Neither has he

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why was the baby crying? a rabit took her bottle and ate her frit snacks.

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Lil' Wayne

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How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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