Barack Obama

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4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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Why did the dad buy his son some ice cream? He didnt, his dad is dead

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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a man walked out of church and said F***!

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Why did John scream when he came in to his bedroom? He stepped on a nail

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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you're a loser >>>>>>>>>>>

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Women's rights.

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There is a white man, a black guy, and an Asian in a car. It got into an accident who did it? Asian dude

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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