Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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penis hehehehe

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Halo < COD

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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