Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Gestapo.

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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