Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

thumb_up thumb_down +43

See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +37

sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There's no "i" in tim.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops