who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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hey.

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

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Gestapo.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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im a selling a car

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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