Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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1234 5

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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who smells? •Liam

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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Don't think of granny porn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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