Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

Knock knock (No one is home)

What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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