Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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A. I have a really funny knock knock joke to tell you! You start. B. Knock knock A. Who's there? B. ....

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

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Lil' Wayne

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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Yes, finally caught that mouse!

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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