My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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96

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops