What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

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You:why did the kid get a massage? Guest:Why? You:Cuz he wanted one.

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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Women's rights.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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