Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

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That's Racist

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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I cant think of one (._. )

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

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Gestapo.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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