What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

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The same girl who got cancer for christmas had a birthday soon after, as a present She got kimo...but it failed

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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