roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What do you call two gay men playfully wrestling? Immature.

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Barack Obama

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jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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