Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Holocaust jokes aren't funny and frankly, I do not see why people think they are so funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

thumb_up thumb_down -29

knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -37

roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -93

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

thumb_up thumb_down +52

a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

thumb_up thumb_down +50

penis hehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

thumb_up thumb_down +50

what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops