why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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Hellen Keller

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops