Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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gay rights

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a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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Whats another word for Thesaurus?

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

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Chayton

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops