Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Don't think of granny porn

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops