96

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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Pickles

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Hellen Keller

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops