-When is a door not a door? -Never

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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Knock Knock Come in. Come in who? You're a dumbass.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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anne hatthaway

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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