If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

Hellen Keller

What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

Penis!

What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

A fat boy walked into a party

What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...