What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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Looks through the peephole.

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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Nathan Gooderson.

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h

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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