How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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