Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A. I have a really funny knock knock joke to tell you! You start. B. Knock knock A. Who's there? B. ....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Lil' Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A: Knock knock. B: <>

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A day without sunshine is like night.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops