Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

ha.

why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

I was in the grocery store on a sunday afternoon, and i saw a black man. To my surprise, HE DIDN'T BUY ANY FRIED CHICKEN?!?!

Why does the Anti-Joke site suck? Because it's not funny.

Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

monkey sponge

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

who hooked up with Sinead Walker? • Liam Findlay

Your mom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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