Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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Du bist mein Kampf

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Chayton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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