Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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