A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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Swiggity Swooty. I'm currently in pursuit for that part of your body people refer to as "booty".

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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A. I have a really funny knock knock joke to tell you! You start. B. Knock knock A. Who's there? B. ....

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This is my joke. funny

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!" The other bar patrons ask him what is wrong, to which he replies, "I stubbed my toe."

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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Ben Colbert is gay

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Whats Black and hangs from a tree? A Tire(:

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What do you call an angry black man? Angry.

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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Lil' Wayne

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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