Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Gestapo.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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