Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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The Holocaust

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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