What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

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dad; were is ur head son; its on my neck duh

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I don't like movies. Because ticket prices are overwhelming.

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why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 1, 2 in mod7.

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You smell bad? Cool.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!" The other bar patrons ask him what is wrong, to which he replies, "I stubbed my toe."

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Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

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guy walks into a bar a metal bar ouch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

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Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops