What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops