cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

women

Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

Is this a chair?

Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

whats really hot the sun

A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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