If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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Anti jokes.

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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A man with AIDS walks into a bar, what does he say? I have AIDS

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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Why are anti-jokes so funny?

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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