How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

whats funny? ebola and 911

I cant think of one (._. )

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

Womens Rights.

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

A seal walks into a club.

What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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