What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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The 19th Amendment

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Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

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A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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What's worst that the Holocaust? Another one.

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Whats the different between a black man and white man...... the different levels melanin in the skin that results in pigment

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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silly rabbit, rape is for babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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