Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

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What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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What did Batman say to Robin befor they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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