What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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