A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Chuck Norris.

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Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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Frown is a four letter word.

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The 19th Amendment

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

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How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

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The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

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Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

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What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk along a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? No, because plastic bags are man-made inanimate objects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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