Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Compton

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +8

robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

who smells? •Liam

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops