Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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penis hehehehe

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223

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops