Stephen Hawking can walk

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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