What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

There's no "i" in tim.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops