Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

thumb_up thumb_down +33

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops