hey i just meet you and this is crazy but i picked out our wedding cake and named our 4 future children :-)))))))

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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What's up? A direction...

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

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This is my joke. funny

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I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

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Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!" The other bar patrons ask him what is wrong, to which he replies, "I stubbed my toe."

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

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dfghfgdfhfdhfgdfghdfh

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did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

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ss sa asd g dg asd g asd g sdg s dg sad g ads g s dg sad g sadg as dg as dg sdg ds gs dg sdg sd g sdg sd g sdg ds gsd g ds g sdg sd g sdg sd g sdg as sdg know i'm sayin?

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt. He actually got halfway across the road and was struck by a fast moving car. There is now a memorial on the side of the road mourning his death...

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What do you call an angry black man? Angry.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

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You might be a redneck if you are a an uneducated white farm laborer from the south.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Lil' Wayne

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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