your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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