What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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When I went on this website for the first time with a few friends, I was surprised to see a lot of these jokes were actually capable of making me laugh. But as I read on, eventually those funny, harmless jokes turned into offensive, ignorant, and very absurd statements. I realize that this 'anti joke' website was most likely created by a bunch of white people, because obviously white people are one of the most racest human beings, but all this is just too much! I guess I'm trying to say: if your going to make a joke, be respectful about it. America has gone through a lot of unforgiveable hardships and unfortunately these 'jokes' are making fun of all of that in a very offensive way.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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penis hehehehe

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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