whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down +49

why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops