knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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Whats the different between a black man and white man...... the different levels melanin in the skin that results in pigment

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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anne hatthaway

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

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What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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