knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats the difference between a battery and a charger

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock It's Open!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

thumb_up thumb_down +4

poop

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops