What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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Du bist mein Kampf

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Whats another word for Thesaurus?

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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