SC Johnson a Family Company

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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