why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Women's rights.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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