what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

Hellen Keller

Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...