What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

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k

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c+t+c?

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-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

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Roses are red Violets are penis

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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How do you know when someone tells a bad joke? You don't find it humorous.

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How much is an abortion? A life

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

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Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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the your face joke

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"Hello." "Hi."

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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