What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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Steve Jobs.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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im a selling a car

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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