What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

penis hehehehe

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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