What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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Hellen Keller

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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minced oaths

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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World Peace

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your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops