Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

the your face joke

"Hello." "Hi."

Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

69

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

Nah

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...