"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A man with AIDS walks into a bar, what does he say? I have AIDS

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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a man walked out of church and said F***!

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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A fat guy at starbucks, waiting for his regular 160lbs breakfest. why is the 10 black kid crying? he's hungry and there is no starbucks in somalia .

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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