A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock *runs away laughing*

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats9+10 19

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops