Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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democracy

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops