Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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