A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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Obama enters a KKK meeting Obama: Oh sorry I thought this was the Kentucky Fried Chicken... the font was so small so... as he starts backing off scared... KKK: leader, of course Mr.President, feel free to come again anytime! Moral: Kings Knocking Ketchup is actually a nice place if you not unlike me enjoy ketchup...

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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whats better than 24................. 25

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops