Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

-Knock Knock. -Come in.

The Charlotte bobcats.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Pickles

So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

World Peace

who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

Looks through the peephole.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

womens rights

Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

h

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...