Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Child birth. So easy women can do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call 4 black people at a kfc? A family sitting down for there evening meal

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the dog barking? No idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats better than 24................. 25

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops