How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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