Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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gay rights

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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Your mom

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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Whats another word for Thesaurus?

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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