Your mom

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Knock Knock Come in. Come in who? You're a dumbass.

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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