How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Anne Frank.

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Gestapo.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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