What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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What do you call 4 black people at a kfc? A family sitting down for there evening meal

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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What's red and u drink it Koolaid

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Penis jokes.

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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1:Nice comeback. 2: If I wanted my cum back, I would get it off your mom's face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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