What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +31

69

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

roses are red, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops