Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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suck my dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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minced oaths

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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ps3

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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