What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

Chayton

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

is mayonnaise an instrument?

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

What do you call two gay men playfully wrestling? Immature.

How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

21

A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

Hello

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...