Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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The Holocaust

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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