What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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