An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Banana(s)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the chicken cross the road Why not

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops