A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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