Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops