Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

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What do you call two gay men playfully wrestling? Immature.

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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