While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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your life

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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Amputations.

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops