Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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