A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

Don't think of granny porn

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

Steve Jobs.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

women leaving the kitchen

A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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