How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

21

thumb_up thumb_down +3

4023145287

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q, Where did Rebecca Black go to eat? A. TGI Fridays

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots his virgin

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops