What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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women leaving the kitchen

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

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BOOBIES!!!!!!!

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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