suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

-Knock Knock. -Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +26

minced oaths

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

ps3

thumb_up thumb_down +26

two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Looks through the peephole.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops