Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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What sucks?

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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