your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

thumb_up thumb_down +55

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

thumb_up thumb_down +51

dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

thumb_up thumb_down +45

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

2 black guys and a Mexican are in the backseat of a car. Who's driving. The cops

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops