A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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What sucks?

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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minced oaths

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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josh roberts you speccy cuunt

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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