Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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