What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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cms.......?????

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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