You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

whos gay? you are

Roses are black, violets are black, i am blind!

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

What is a dinosaurs favorite chips? Doritos.

Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

OGC - tilt your head

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

Once upon a time.

It says so on your cap.

How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from sky-scraper Q:he dies

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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