- Anti Joke

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

Banana(s)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

why did the chicken cross the road Why not

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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