Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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