How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

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BOOBIES!!!!!!!

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Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

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women leaving the kitchen

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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Anti jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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