What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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Microsoft Windows

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

Knock, Knock. Come in.

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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