What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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