your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

stuff and dogs {()}

Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

dog

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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