Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Hitler was Jewish.

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Like this joke

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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Is this a chair?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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