What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

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What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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My Girlfriend

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wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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