Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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BWAT

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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h

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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