Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

Don't think of granny porn

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

Steve Jobs.

What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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