What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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Du bist mein Kampf

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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