Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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How much is an abortion? A life

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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