How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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Womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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