I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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Whats worse than a bee sting? - Two bee stings Whats worse than two bee stings? -The Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? -Three bee stings

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what do snozberries taste like? Lama

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What is a dinosaurs favorite chips? Doritos.

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

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dfghfgdfhfdhfgdfghdfh

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Roses are red Violets are penis

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Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock, Who's there? Woodpecker. Woodpecker who? Woodpecker.

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A white man and a black man play a game of basketball, who wins? It depends who's better

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What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

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Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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What do you cal a black boy with a bike? A thief

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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