What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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roses are red, violets are violet

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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