There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a show horse jumps over a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops