Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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You:why did the kid get a massage? Guest:Why? You:Cuz he wanted one.

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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