why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +38

i hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

like my drawing of a white person?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops