Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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