Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Steve Jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops