A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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