Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

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Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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