HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Womens' rights.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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