World Peace

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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