What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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