How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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Looks through the peephole.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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