What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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women leaving the kitchen

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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Knock Knock No one answers....

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

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Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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BOOBIES!!!!!!!

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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What iz stupid? Hibiyav

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Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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