How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

i hate you.

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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