Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

S.O.P.A

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Homework.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So dont touch it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know George Washington? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

thumb_up thumb_down

What is worse than hell?

thumb_up thumb_down

If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What is black and hangs from a tree? A: Kevin Towers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man farted. Another man walked away.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whos gay? you are

thumb_up thumb_down -2

1500 Jews were ordered to walk along a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops