Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops