What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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Wolf Pussy

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Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

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Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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