Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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4023145287

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dog

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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