What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops