What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

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What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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S.O.P.A

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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silly rabbit, rape is for babies

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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a man walked out of church and said F***!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree ... Because it was dead

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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A Jew doesn't walk out of the Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops