Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

World Peace

What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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