What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

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Once upon a time.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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Will you marry me?

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 6 cheated on 7 with 9.. 6 is now a victim of domestic violence.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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The WNBA.

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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