What did the banana say to the peach? Dude, we can talk?

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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The original Superman: Cruelty! Do you remember the original superman color movies? Like when he just deflected lasers bombs fire and bullets, he threw busses, spun around the world, was completely immune to anything but kryptonite and then... (pls dont hate) ...Fell of a horse and became a complete cripple?

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a atheist and a christian walk into a bar, they are good friends and enjoy their conversations.

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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German sausage is the wurst

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a n**ga!

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Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

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Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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What did the hot rod say to the other hot rod Its hot in here

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock Knock, Who's There The Chicken

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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