A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They are both are fat and have beards, except for Tom Cruise.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

There was was 14 apples in a tree. And that's it.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into an anti Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the banana say to the peach? Dude, we can talk?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

thumb_up thumb_down +109

A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How many people does it take to eat an apple ? One, unless it is divided into pieces for everyone to enjoy.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

'Knock' 'Knock' Who's there? Open the door and you will find out douche.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

thumb_up thumb_down +62

A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink The bartenders says no, because she is a woman, and he is a sexist Women are still not equally treated in this world

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops