A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

Obama is a good president.

A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

Womens rights.

If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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