A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

Womens rights.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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