How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

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What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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Obama is a good president.

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What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

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What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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