How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

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Obama is a good president.

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

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Womens rights.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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German sausage is the wurst

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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