Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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Once upon a time, there was a pair of headphones. It loved the sound of music.

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A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, Knock. Who's there? ........Chicken...?

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What did the banana say to the peach? Dude, we can talk?

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Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

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What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

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What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

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Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops