Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Yo momma's so nice that she baked cookies for us. Please tell her I said thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +161

Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

thumb_up thumb_down +80

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

thumb_up thumb_down +151

Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

thumb_up thumb_down +65

How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops