An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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Yo momma's so nice that she baked cookies for us. Please tell her I said thanks.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They are both are fat and have beards, except for Tom Cruise.

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

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Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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