How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They are both are fat and have beards, except for Tom Cruise.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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8============D PEN1S

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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There was was 14 apples in a tree. And that's it.

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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