Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

Yo mama's so poor she is on welfare.

What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock Knock, Who's There The Chicken

Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

Once upon a time, there was a pair of headphones. It loved the sound of music.

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

wow garlic, yum

Hitler had the right ideas, wne tupon it the wrong way.

why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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