jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

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A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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