Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

Guess what? What? Nothing.

How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

Womens rights.

What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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