How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock No one answers....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops