GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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like my drawing of a white person?

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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Microsoft Windows

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why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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