what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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Hitler was Jewish.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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