You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

Baseball

knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

Chaney is a dumb b****

What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

How did the blond die? Substance abuse

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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