Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Looks through the peephole.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops