Chuck Norris died.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops