Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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what time is it rape time

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minced oaths

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Left. That one direction...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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