What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops