I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

Your mother

why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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