The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

you will die someday

what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

I just found out that you can dislike or like something by clicking the thumbs up or down

A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

You're so gay you actively seek homosexuals relationships.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

It says so on your cap.

What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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