Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A Mexican walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +37

knock knock go away ok

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down +35

First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A British man walks into a dental office.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops