Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 was racist.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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Steve Jobs.

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops