Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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women's lacrosse.

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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cms.......?????

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops