Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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Knock knock *No one was home*

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Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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imadewords

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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I'm gay.

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like facebook.com/john maon

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why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

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A white man and a black man play a game of basketball, who wins? It depends who's better

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How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

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What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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what did the dead woman say the boy? I am dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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