Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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Microsoft Windows

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What is a question?

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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