So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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Did you know?

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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