roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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Women's rights.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops