How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops