Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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planking.

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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4023145287

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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