The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops