Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Left. That one direction...

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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