Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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The Economy

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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