Your mom is so fat the only time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

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What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

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what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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An indian boy gets a girlfriend

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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antijokes

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

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Will you marry me?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Q: What's worse than being fat? A: Getting even fatter than u already are. :o

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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