Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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