Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hitler was Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops