How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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Baseball

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Your mother

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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Yeah, totally.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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