Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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