Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is a question?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what is funnier then a man with AIDS? -nearly anything as AIDS is a serious medical condition and could be potentially lethal

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +24

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops