Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +30

roses are red, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A woman gets in her car to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +28

This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Looks through the peephole.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Left. That one direction...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do u shit With ur ass

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops