a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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what is funnier then a man with AIDS? -nearly anything as AIDS is a serious medical condition and could be potentially lethal

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Chuck Norris died.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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