A duck walks into a bar, the bartender asks "What'd you want?" the duck responds "A miller lite please" promptly after that the bartender was tested for mental insanity because he thinks ducks can talk.

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What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

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What's up? The sky.

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What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

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A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

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What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

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What is brown and sticky? A masturbating Negro.

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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LOOP IN ARE FOR TOYUIL!!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!! MOY SAY UHJIN LAK WAQUI SAMPA!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOL IT IS SO FUNNY TO JOKE ABOUT!

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Lebron Traveled

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Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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