A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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