Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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Paul Dylan King!

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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women's lacrosse.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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roses are red, violets are violet

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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