What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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What iz stupid? Hibiyav

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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planking.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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Susie has Autism

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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