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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why was the kid underwater? He hit a rock.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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you will die someday

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots his virgin

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

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john liked the paper........ so he took it

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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Who lives with josh moran? A gay asian

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what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

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TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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A Jew doesn't walk out of the Holocaust.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops