If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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you will die someday

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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weiner? balls

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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Obama is a black man living in a white house. TEEHEE

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69

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So anyways, can I have the last comment or not?

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk along a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

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what do snozberries taste like? Lama

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Asians

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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