Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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