What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

A baby seal walks into a club.

Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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