Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

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Knock, knock. Come in!

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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What's up? The sky.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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Will gropes Ebola victims

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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