How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

69

Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

Penis.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

How do u shit With ur ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...