Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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Penis.

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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Looks through the peephole.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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