What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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An indian boy gets a girlfriend

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whats difference between a bench and a mexican? a mexican isnt a bench

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Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

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Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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You might be a redneck if you are a an uneducated white farm laborer from the south.

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from sky-scraper Q:he dies

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the your face joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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