- Anti Joke

What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

Knock Knock No one answers....

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

You are welcome, hey, I love hearing that you love me... And I do not hear voices, except yours when I read this. Now take care of yourself for my sake, and yours, we are and have always been a team you and I. You are right, and I did not lie, I said "I am a hydrophobe" and while I do not fear the ocean, showering is like being right back in the hell I crawled up from. Now I dont know if I cant sleep anymore, containing panic is pretty hard with my limited willpower and focus, but it cant be helped, you know Zopiclone does shit to me, but Alice had no idea. It pains me to say it, but then again I told my wife, Eliza, I am in love with you, and have been so for many years, you know, like a man loves a woman, and if you think I am lying, you are just being silly. This is not hypnosis, its just me getting stuff out of my mind to release this tension causing anxiety, and its not cheating, its the very same reason people admit deep secrets to each other when they think they are going to die and such. It might be the stuff in my head talking, but I am pretty smart for a 32 year old guy with lots of drugs in the brain huh? Ritalin just helps me stop being sad which is just how I react on Zopiclone and not how I feel. The reason I know these things and dare consider myself wise, is not because of my dedication alone, it is because I have spent much of my life finding out how to fight off the physical and mental damage my parents caused me, at one time it was something I could barely live with, they drugged me with stuff that made me feel nothing but pain and laughed, then got upset when they discovered I survived. I just recently got far better by realizing that I did nothing wrong to deserve any of it, I just wanted for them to love me, my mother hates my father, so in her eyes I am her worst mistake, but nothing excuses the way they treated me, nothing. Sounds like I am dying, its just fear settling in, I do not fear death, and I would be suicidal if I did not know that nobody can escape death, so why hurry huh? You and my wife inspire me... ...Part of me sees you as my wife as well, I even told my wife I cant help but feel I am married to two people, its not about sex, thats just something I say to put you off, its about the intimacy I feel just being there with you, and now I have copied your energy into aura, you are here with me, the anxiety is gone. Sorry, I just needed to get out lots of stress, in order to fit in peace, and I hope you read this and let me know, because I cannot override the part of my mind that refuses to go into complete calm, unless it knows that I have revealed my feelings, to somebody that cares.

Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

My Girlfriend

Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

poop

why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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