- Anti Joke

I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

planking.

Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

What's worse than a dead man? 2 dead men

Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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