Left. That one direction...

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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:-)book

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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