What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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dog

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Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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