How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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