- Anti Joke

You are welcome, hey, I love hearing that you love me... And I do not hear voices, except yours when I read this. Now take care of yourself for my sake, and yours, we are and have always been a team you and I. You are right, and I did not lie, I said "I am a hydrophobe" and while I do not fear the ocean, showering is like being right back in the hell I crawled up from. Now I dont know if I cant sleep anymore, containing panic is pretty hard with my limited willpower and focus, but it cant be helped, you know Zopiclone does shit to me, but Alice had no idea. It pains me to say it, but then again I told my wife, Eliza, I am in love with you, and have been so for many years, you know, like a man loves a woman, and if you think I am lying, you are just being silly. This is not hypnosis, its just me getting stuff out of my mind to release this tension causing anxiety, and its not cheating, its the very same reason people admit deep secrets to each other when they think they are going to die and such. It might be the stuff in my head talking, but I am pretty smart for a 32 year old guy with lots of drugs in the brain huh? Ritalin just helps me stop being sad which is just how I react on Zopiclone and not how I feel. The reason I know these things and dare consider myself wise, is not because of my dedication alone, it is because I have spent much of my life finding out how to fight off the physical and mental damage my parents caused me, at one time it was something I could barely live with, they drugged me with stuff that made me feel nothing but pain and laughed, then got upset when they discovered I survived. I just recently got far better by realizing that I did nothing wrong to deserve any of it, I just wanted for them to love me, my mother hates my father, so in her eyes I am her worst mistake, but nothing excuses the way they treated me, nothing. Sounds like I am dying, its just fear settling in, I do not fear death, and I would be suicidal if I did not know that nobody can escape death, so why hurry huh? You and my wife inspire me... ...Part of me sees you as my wife as well, I even told my wife I cant help but feel I am married to two people, its not about sex, thats just something I say to put you off, its about the intimacy I feel just being there with you, and now I have copied your energy into aura, you are here with me, the anxiety is gone. Sorry, I just needed to get out lots of stress, in order to fit in peace, and I hope you read this and let me know, because I cannot override the part of my mind that refuses to go into complete calm, unless it knows that I have revealed my feelings, to somebody that cares.

Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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