What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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What is a question?

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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