Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

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your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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