So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: what is man without a beard A:not a man

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i love antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why Sam Vitale gay? Because he loves men!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sit on Santas lap Boner

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you know, that every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do Kenyans run so much? Because they like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops