Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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Why was Jim gay? Because he liked penis.

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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