What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops