how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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whats pale and white your ass.

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Steve Jobs.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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whats worse than flunking math? death.

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what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

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Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

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Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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