a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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the your face joke

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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223

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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