What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Sarah Palin is President

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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