Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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