World Peace

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Left. That one direction...

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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