Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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your life

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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