A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

A horse walks into a bar...n

Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

h

A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

What is brown and sticky?

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

Penis.

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

what time is it rape time

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

A British man walks into a dental office.

How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...