- Anti Joke

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

You are welcome, hey, I love hearing that you love me... And I do not hear voices, except yours when I read this. Now take care of yourself for my sake, and yours, we are and have always been a team you and I. You are right, and I did not lie, I said "I am a hydrophobe" and while I do not fear the ocean, showering is like being right back in the hell I crawled up from. Now I dont know if I cant sleep anymore, containing panic is pretty hard with my limited willpower and focus, but it cant be helped, you know Zopiclone does shit to me, but Alice had no idea. It pains me to say it, but then again I told my wife, Eliza, I am in love with you, and have been so for many years, you know, like a man loves a woman, and if you think I am lying, you are just being silly. This is not hypnosis, its just me getting stuff out of my mind to release this tension causing anxiety, and its not cheating, its the very same reason people admit deep secrets to each other when they think they are going to die and such. It might be the stuff in my head talking, but I am pretty smart for a 32 year old guy with lots of drugs in the brain huh? Ritalin just helps me stop being sad which is just how I react on Zopiclone and not how I feel. The reason I know these things and dare consider myself wise, is not because of my dedication alone, it is because I have spent much of my life finding out how to fight off the physical and mental damage my parents caused me, at one time it was something I could barely live with, they drugged me with stuff that made me feel nothing but pain and laughed, then got upset when they discovered I survived. I just recently got far better by realizing that I did nothing wrong to deserve any of it, I just wanted for them to love me, my mother hates my father, so in her eyes I am her worst mistake, but nothing excuses the way they treated me, nothing. Sounds like I am dying, its just fear settling in, I do not fear death, and I would be suicidal if I did not know that nobody can escape death, so why hurry huh? You and my wife inspire me... ...Part of me sees you as my wife as well, I even told my wife I cant help but feel I am married to two people, its not about sex, thats just something I say to put you off, its about the intimacy I feel just being there with you, and now I have copied your energy into aura, you are here with me, the anxiety is gone. Sorry, I just needed to get out lots of stress, in order to fit in peace, and I hope you read this and let me know, because I cannot override the part of my mind that refuses to go into complete calm, unless it knows that I have revealed my feelings, to somebody that cares.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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