I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

ps3

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Banana(s)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops