A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

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Baseball

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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Your mother

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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