How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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