How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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Star Wars

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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Susie has Autism

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stuff and dogs {()}

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The holocaust.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

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S.O.P.A

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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