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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender asks "What'd you want?" the duck responds "A miller lite please" promptly after that the bartender was tested for mental insanity because he thinks ducks can talk.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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Jake Bowar

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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