I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

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what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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