There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Cajuns love drinking And drowning too

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Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

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What do u call 4 black men in a car? A: carpooling

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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Why did the Mexican cross the street? He didn't

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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wow garlic, yum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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