A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

8============D PEN1S

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

thumb_up thumb_down -97

There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

thumb_up thumb_down +311

What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

thumb_up thumb_down +61

what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

thumb_up thumb_down -80

1unno;njfjk

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

thumb_up thumb_down +71

A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops