How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, knock. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A guy is playing cod

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops