Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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