Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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Roses Are Blue Violets Are Purple Black is Purple Im colorblind

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Three blondes walk into a community college.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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Steve Jobs.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops