What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

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A Jew doesn't walk out of the Holocaust.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

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why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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the guy below me is gay

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antijokes

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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