Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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Yeah, totally.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

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wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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