A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock Who's there? Forever alone Forever alone who? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

You want to hear a joke? Democract

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -42

12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

thumb_up thumb_down +85

What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops