Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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