Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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BUTTERFARTING

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only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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