A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops