Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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cms.......?????

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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