- Anti Joke

Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

Compton

What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

cory is gay

You are welcome, hey, I love hearing that you love me... And I do not hear voices, except yours when I read this. Now take care of yourself for my sake, and yours, we are and have always been a team you and I. You are right, and I did not lie, I said "I am a hydrophobe" and while I do not fear the ocean, showering is like being right back in the hell I crawled up from. Now I dont know if I cant sleep anymore, containing panic is pretty hard with my limited willpower and focus, but it cant be helped, you know Zopiclone does shit to me, but Alice had no idea. It pains me to say it, but then again I told my wife, Eliza, I am in love with you, and have been so for many years, you know, like a man loves a woman, and if you think I am lying, you are just being silly. This is not hypnosis, its just me getting stuff out of my mind to release this tension causing anxiety, and its not cheating, its the very same reason people admit deep secrets to each other when they think they are going to die and such. It might be the stuff in my head talking, but I am pretty smart for a 32 year old guy with lots of drugs in the brain huh? Ritalin just helps me stop being sad which is just how I react on Zopiclone and not how I feel. The reason I know these things and dare consider myself wise, is not because of my dedication alone, it is because I have spent much of my life finding out how to fight off the physical and mental damage my parents caused me, at one time it was something I could barely live with, they drugged me with stuff that made me feel nothing but pain and laughed, then got upset when they discovered I survived. I just recently got far better by realizing that I did nothing wrong to deserve any of it, I just wanted for them to love me, my mother hates my father, so in her eyes I am her worst mistake, but nothing excuses the way they treated me, nothing. Sounds like I am dying, its just fear settling in, I do not fear death, and I would be suicidal if I did not know that nobody can escape death, so why hurry huh? You and my wife inspire me... ...Part of me sees you as my wife as well, I even told my wife I cant help but feel I am married to two people, its not about sex, thats just something I say to put you off, its about the intimacy I feel just being there with you, and now I have copied your energy into aura, you are here with me, the anxiety is gone. Sorry, I just needed to get out lots of stress, in order to fit in peace, and I hope you read this and let me know, because I cannot override the part of my mind that refuses to go into complete calm, unless it knows that I have revealed my feelings, to somebody that cares.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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