Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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Looks through the peephole.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops