why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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Homework.

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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