man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from sky-scraper Q:he dies

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Wolf Pussy

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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