Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the chicken cross the road Why not

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +27

no u

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops