Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

a show horse jumps over a bar

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

Rebecca Black

What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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