If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

thumb_up thumb_down

KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

thumb_up thumb_down

Haha

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What is black and hangs from a tree? A: Kevin Towers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

This one time, at band camp we played in a band

thumb_up thumb_down -4

ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sit on Santas lap Boner

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops