whats sad about a jew in a gas tank? nothing.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

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This is not a good joke.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

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antijokes

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Chuck Norris. Alright come in.

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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Knock knock Who's there? Forever alone Forever alone who? You.

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Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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