A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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How much is an abortion? A life

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Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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