Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

planking.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

2

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops