A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Women's sports.

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Womens rights

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops