A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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A black woman and an Asian woman are both driving their cars. They arrive safely at their respective destinations.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

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brett is a dick

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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You know what's sad about the Special Olympics? Even of you win, your still retarded.

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you just lost the game!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops