Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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You're so gay you actively seek homosexuals relationships.

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

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Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

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My mom's dead

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Hitler is my role model

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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the your face joke

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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