what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

So dont touch it

Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

What is good about the holocaust? It is over

A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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