Sarah Palin is President

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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