How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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