A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

2

Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

Your mother

What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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