A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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hi

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Women's sports.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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69

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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boobs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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