A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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