Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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potatoes

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like my drawing of a white person?

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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