how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

Star Wars

What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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