A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

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Knock Knock No one answers....

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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planking.

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

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Vagina-Boob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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