- Anti Joke

What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

World Peace

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

josh roberts you speccy cuunt

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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