What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The holocaust.

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Haha

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Q: What is black and hangs from a tree? A: Kevin Towers

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a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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Your mom is so fat the only time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

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What do u call a gay guy with a long dik Dickgimme a lick

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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