Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

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how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

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How many jews died in a gas chamber? None because the holocaust is a myth.

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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Pavel Novak

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There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

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What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

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So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

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Flab

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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So anyways, can I have the last comment or not?

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? a mega sore ass

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Obama is a black man living in a white house. TEEHEE

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TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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