why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Jokes are funny.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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