I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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Why did the black man swim across the lake? He didnt. He drowned

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Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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k

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Hello

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

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What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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