How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops