Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops