Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +28

your mother is so lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops