What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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potato farming

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops