Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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Hello

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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Small titties.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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You:why did the kid get a massage? Guest:Why? You:Cuz he wanted one.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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Boobs are nasty!

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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