Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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minced oaths

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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