Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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Lil' Wayne

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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Nah

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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