why did everyone in the swimming pool move away from the woman... because she had a miscarriage

Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

The horse's name was Friday

A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

Junior's love life.

Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

Why didn't the teacher ask where Billy's assignment was? Because Billy died last week. -B

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

What's red, black, and blue all over? A canvas with red, black, and blue paint.

what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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