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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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Knock knock whos there punctuation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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