Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I'm not as random as you think i salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Chuck Norris died.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +28

-Knock Knock. -Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

2

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops