What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Communism

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

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Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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