How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

josh roberts you speccy cuunt

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops