Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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96

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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What's so funny about an anti-joke? Nothing.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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