"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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Three blondes walk into a community college.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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