Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Baseball

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Justin Bieber

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops