A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops