What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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Womens' rights.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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Nah

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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