How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

Your mom

A man. That is all.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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