If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops