What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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potatoes

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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