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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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