Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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21

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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Pavel Novak

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There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

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This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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Flab

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What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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