Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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women's rights

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

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Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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