women leaving the kitchen

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

Knock Knock No one answers....

what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

cory is gay

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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