A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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Compton

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why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

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why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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