why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +20

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

thumb_up thumb_down +18

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

My mom just died....

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a show horse jumps over a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops