Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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69

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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