Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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stuff and dogs {()}

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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potato farming

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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A black woman and an Asian woman are both driving their cars. They arrive safely at their respective destinations.

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4023145287

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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silly rabbit, rape is for babies

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Obama-Care

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? a mega sore ass

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There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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