What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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