Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

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Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops