What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

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how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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