What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Justin Bieber

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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Chaney is a dumb b****

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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