How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

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Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Windows Vista

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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women leaving the kitchen

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops