While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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What is a question?

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Penis.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

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And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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