Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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potatoes

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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