Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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