Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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