What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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roses are red, violets are violet

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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