What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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Penis.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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