Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

Osama Bin Laden dies.

why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

A seal walks into a club.

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

women's rights

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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