Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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