Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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Chuck Norris died.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Compton

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Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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