Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

I'm not as random as you think i salad.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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