How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

Why did the black man swim across the lake? He didnt. He drowned

What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

Hello

NEVER

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

How much is an abortion? A life

why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

If anybody wants a free RuneScape account, the username is Antbongton and the password is fluckaduck

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

The WNBA.

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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