How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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Womens' rights.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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