roses are red, violets are violet

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Chuck Norris died.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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Q. What did the priest and the atler boy do in the back room of the church? A. Disscussed their feelings about the different meanings that could be derived from the daily scripture reading.

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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Yeah, totally.

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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Whats the best thing that happened to the jews The Holocaust

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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