Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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Women's rights.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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