Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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What flys? A fly

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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Small titties.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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8===========D O:

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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The WNBA

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from sky-scraper Q:he dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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