Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Grapefruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A straight man walks into a lesbian bar. He quickly realizes his mistake and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops