A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

96

Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

My mom.

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

21

The Economy

How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...