Why did the black man swim across the lake? He didnt. He drowned

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

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how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

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Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops