Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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Icecream

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops