How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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I just found out that you can dislike or like something by clicking the thumbs up or down

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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A straight man walks into a lesbian bar. He quickly realizes his mistake and leaves.

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Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender asks "What'd you want?" the duck responds "A miller lite please" promptly after that the bartender was tested for mental insanity because he thinks ducks can talk.

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

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Ancient Greeks rights

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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Whats the difference between a van with a bunch of babies in the back and a Cadillac with a bunch of babies in the back I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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