Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops