Guess What? What? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

i hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Women's sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Womens' rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops