Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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josh roberts you speccy cuunt

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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Three blondes walk into a community college.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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