What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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