Guess What? What? Get in the van.

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

Womens' rights.

like my drawing of a white person?

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

666 im christian

what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

Penis.

Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...