A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Penis.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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What sucks?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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