Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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Womens' rights.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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like my drawing of a white person?

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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