Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 was racist.

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i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

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how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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A man. That is all.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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