So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

A horse walks into a bar...n

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

Banana(s)

A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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