What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +58

what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down +50

dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops