Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Asians are ugly and they look they have down syndrome.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

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antijokes

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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