A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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A man. That is all.

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Go away.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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