- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

obama is a good president

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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