What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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The WNBA

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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ruddell and dodds anal

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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Womens rights

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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