Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops