What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

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How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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A man walks into a bar and orders some grapes. The bartender says he does not have any grapes available. The man leaves.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

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Why did the boy fall out of his tree house? the tree house was hit by lightning

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why couldn't the man rock climb? he didn't have hands

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is it big enough to have sex in????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

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what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

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What's a bug's favorite sport? Bug's can't play sports.

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if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

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A man and a prostitute walk into a bar. they have a few drinks then proceed to a hotel room where the man has sexual intercourse with the woman in exchange for money. The man then leaves while the woman stays in the hotel room and cries cause she hadn't achieved any of her dreams or life ambitions.

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The horse's name was Friday

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Why did Debby drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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