How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day your body rejected the transfer and you died.

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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derp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

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How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

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A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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A man walks into a bar and orders some grapes. The bartender says he does not have any grapes available. The man leaves.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

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Junior's love life.

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What was the blind man doing at the movies? He was on a date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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