1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

Pavel Novak

Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

silly rabbit, rape is for babies

KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

if u have a problem with this then comment !!!!!!!!!!!

What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...