Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Lil' Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

thumb_up thumb_down -72

"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

thumb_up thumb_down +57

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

minorities.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops