Q: What's worse than being fat? A: Getting even fatter than u already are. :o

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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