What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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Knock knock whos there punctuation

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Steve Jobs.

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops