Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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A black woman and an Asian woman are both driving their cars. They arrive safely at their respective destinations.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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austins gay lolololol

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A tragic accident waiting to happen.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

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What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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brett is a dick

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Chuck Norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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