3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

women's lacrosse.

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

I'm not as random as you think i salad.

Penis.

What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Chuck Norris died.

2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

2

Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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