Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Penis.

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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