What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Women's sports.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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