baby seal walks into a bar

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What's up? The sky.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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Pavel Novak

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what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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you just lost the game!

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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what is black and looks like a mushroom? a black mushroom

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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LOOP IN ARE FOR TOYUIL!!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!! MOY SAY UHJIN LAK WAQUI SAMPA!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOL IT IS SO FUNNY TO JOKE ABOUT!

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What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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if u have a problem with this then comment !!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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