Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Penis.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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