While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Banana(s)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I'm not as random as you think i salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +26

i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops