Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

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How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

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What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

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Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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