Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

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dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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whats the difference between a black person , spook and a porchmoney.... there is none there all stupid stinky n-ag-ger-s

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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