What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

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OGC - tilt your head

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

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How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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The WNBA

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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ruddell and dodds anal

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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ur mother

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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