A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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Peas and Corn. Porn., a deer

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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Icecream

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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How many jews died in a gas chamber? None because the holocaust is a myth.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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Women's Rights

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

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Grapefruit.

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This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

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Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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