What's white and very boney? A bone

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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What is a question?

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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