why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

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Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

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Sup homie G. Shutup you are not black.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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A man. That is all.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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