Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man. That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

AVI IS A FAG

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops