why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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like facebook.com/john maon

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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Q: What's worse than being fat? A: Getting even fatter than u already are. :o

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69

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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