Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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So dont touch it

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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