Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

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Icecream

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops