What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

minorities.

Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

in the begining... god made some stuff

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

Bin Laden is dead.

whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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