Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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My Girlfriend

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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NEVER

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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21

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops