What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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AVI IS A FAG

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What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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