Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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My Girlfriend

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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The Economy

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A tragic accident waiting to happen.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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