A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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your life

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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why did the chicken cross the road Why not

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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