Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

thumb_up thumb_down +47

knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

thumb_up thumb_down +45

why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Women's sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

cms.......?????

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops