What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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Jokes are funny.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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h

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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knock knock go away ok

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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69

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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