What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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