Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A black goes to college

thumb_up thumb_down +51

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

thumb_up thumb_down +51

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +39

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops