What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

A man with AIDS walks into a bar, what does he say? I have AIDS

There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

Asians

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

Akshaytiger World

How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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