What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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