Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

abcdHIV this disease is killing me

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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