What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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8=D

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Hey

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops