Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Women's sports.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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What should I name my dog?

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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knock knock go away ok

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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69

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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