Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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How many jews died in a gas chamber? None because the holocaust is a myth.

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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austins gay lolololol

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Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to the Holocaust A: Because he was Jewish

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops