Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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im black

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Your mother

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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josh roberts you speccy cuunt

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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Women"s Rights

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Knock knock whos there punctuation

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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