Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Bin Laden is dead.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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suck my dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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