Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Pavel Novak

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

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Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

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What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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