Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

Why was the man so unhappy. he died

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...