you will die someday

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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What do u call a gay guy with a long dik Dickgimme a lick

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What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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Quit repeating the damn jokes you jackasses it ruins the laughter. Like if you agree.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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yo momma is so tall shes tall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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