What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

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How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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