Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

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Oliver's friends

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69

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Shmellmype. Shmellmype who? HAHAHAHAHA (read out loud)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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A girl is on the phone with her boyfriend the boy friend has a rash the girl said put ointment on it ointment cures everything the boyfriend responded not cancer.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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