How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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