Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -112

What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

thumb_up thumb_down +55

The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops